Super Mom!

Not! :)

I am a bit proud of myself today. Ben is still in the middle of the August rush (my friend last night lovingly called me a Residence Life Widow!), so we are spending much of our days being - just being. Today, though, I had the kids dressed and ready to go (along with myself) by 9am. I had a date, you see. A date with the track. So, while I walked circles pushing Pillbug in the stroller, Treefrog and Fish played in the grass. It felt so good to be out. Even though my time ended when Treefrog decided to hit Fish in the head with a large rock, it was good to go. The boys had fun and I'm pretty sure Fish will sleep well this afternoon.

When I got back from the walk, I even managed to get a shower. Pillbug spent some time in the swing and the boys started outside and then moved inside to watch The Lion King. Oh the joys of juggling three children and trying to get some self-care in! I do feel so blessed by these little ones. I'm glad they are a part of my life:)

Well, Pillbug is screaming so my blogging time has come to an end. If you would like to join me tomorrow, I'll be at the track at 9am!

I'm Not Sure

I don't know if I'm back or not. My days are filled to the brim right now with this new little one who I have lovingly dubbed Pillbug for the blog-o-sphere. Pillbug turned our world upside down on June 1, a mere 34 minutes past her big brother Fish's birthday (and, incidentally, my friend J's birthday!). Since that day I have been enamored with her ways. She has a personality all her own that is really nothing like her older brothers'. Treefrog and Fish love having a baby to call their sister. And, I'm pretty sure Ben has completely lost his heart to her. My family is so sweet. I am utterly blessed by these beings in my life.

Today ended hard (my "day" is over when Ben gets home - then it is evening), so Ben escaped with the kids for a while to give me some quiet just before deciding that we needed a night out for dinner. So, in a few short minutes, I'll put away my computer and grab all the gear that we need to tote a baby girl around and we'll go somewhere that I will not have to cook the food or clean the dishes. And I will feel blessed even more to have that choice.

Tomorrow I will wake up and the laundry will still be here (oh, the cloth diapers!), the kids will still be at very different stages of needs, and Ben will still need to go to work for the day, but I will be refreshed. These few minutes of quiet (especially when paired with a dinner out!) are so rejuvenating these days. Maybe when this feeling of being refreshed isn't so illusive, I'll promise to post more often:)

Raspberries

The other day, Ben, Fish, Treefrog and I were outside enjoying the sunshine. Treefrog was doing his own thing digging in the dirt and Fish was clinging to my "bap" (a.k.a. lap) which I have come to believe is his way of dealing with the impending transition to three children in our house. Somehow we started talking about the baby. He leaned over my bulging belly, patted it, and said, "Baby?" I said yes and so he decided to investigate further.

My shirt was lifted to reveal the entirety of my belly and Fish began talking to the baby. I asked him to tell her to come out and so he did. Then, upon finding my belly button, he proceeded to give the baby raspberries. As I sat there laughing, it drew the attention of my faithful hubby and Treefrog. Fish wasted no time in inviting them along for a few raspberries of their own and the rest was history. I was laughing so hard as my belly received raspberry after raspberry. Every boy on and around my lap was also enjoying a good laugh and from the movement going on inside, our little girl was having a blast as well:)

We are hoping for a delivery soon. The sooner the better so we can introduce her to the beautiful Oregon sunshine and a few raspberries of her own!

Avoiding Posting

I was talking late one night recently with my friend J. Well, it was 8:30 - that's still pretty late for us pregos! I was sitting amongst a pile of clothing, folding, sorting and the like and we were laughing. Laughing at the fact that this last pregnancy for both of us has hit hard . . . She is homebound, trying to keep her sanity and her health in tact, and I am done not being the Mama I want to be. We laughed at what this has done to our attitudes (namely we have both become grumble-monsters) and we shared the small spots where we have been finding inspiration. J has been faithful at posting on her blog about the good things each day: yummy foods she has concocted, fun times with her three kiddos out of utero, the good things about her changing body, etc. I, on the other hand, have found solace in reading other's perspectives of the good (J's, Outnumbered, and especially the ever-inspiring SouleMama). The phone call was relatively short for us (we've been known to talk MUCH longer), but it filled a spot that I didn't realize was needed.

I love having this pregnancy be shared with someone else. We are a mere two weeks apart (Lucky Duck J is two weeks ahead of me!!). Way back August, I can remember standing in J's business and laughing at how fun it would be to be pregnant together. Then it happened:) Though is has been a rough pregnancy for both of us and maybe not as blissful of a thing to share as we thought, the other night's phone call so reminded me of that happiness of sharing in this together. Of feeling the other's morning sickness. Of knowing just why she reacted to her hubby like that (cause I did earlier in the day as well). And of understanding that while this isn't the best moment in parenting for either of us, it is still a moment from which we can find encouragement.

So, while J continues to post regularly about the good things in her life, I will probably continue to post irregularly. I will however, remain a faithful reader of those who bring me inspiration to hang on to the good of each day!

TV Has Become My Life

Wow - 32 weeks and counting. My back is much better. One Wednesday I woke up and baby had moved, so no more back pain! About a week or so later I went into early labor and and had quite a few hard contractions. We had two appointments in a week and I ended up sleeping every chance I got for the remainder of the week. Contractions lasted through this weekend (though not as hard as the ones on Tuesday). I have found myself staying at home a lot and in front of the television.

This is a pretty big switch from our normal life. Ben and I normally play games in the evenings or read together on the couch. The TV was only used as the free babysitter it should be used as:) I'm trying to give myself the freedom to embrace this time - the exhaustion, the uncomfortable body, the lack of a brain, etc. But it is hard. I am not the Mama I want to be during pregnancy. I notice it so much more this time around since Treefrog is older and will tell me when he doesn't like what's happening. He is definitely seeking attention in crazy ways (pretending to be a baby, disobeying, intentionally hurting Fish). I know many of these actions are normal 3/4 year old behavior, but it is also a reflection of how little energy I have for playing in the afternoon, or mornings for that matter!

Each day I'm starting with a simple prayer, "Help me, Jesus." I know that this is just a short season of our life and I know that God is so much bigger than my poor parenting during these nine months. Just yesterday Treefrog and I talked about how he is so lucky to have a papa here and one in Heaven who is with him all the time. He even decided to play a game with Jesus for while:) I know he is being taken care of, that he recognizes that God is with him, I just wish we could fast forward through this pregnancy to having the baby and trying to get back to "normal," whatever that will look like with three kids!