Monday, August 18, 2008

You Might Be a Redneck If . . .

Ben is gone this week for his yearly obligatory week in the wilderness with the college students he will be working with this year. He doesn't mind it as much as me, go figure. Actually, I'm pretty sure he was packed an entire week before the actual trip because he gets so excited for it.

That leaves me home with the boys. For a week. By myself. And did I mention I am by myself this week?

I guess by myself is relative, though. I spent most of the day today with my friend J and her three kids. J owns a hotdog and coffee stand (hello, free coffee much?!) so while she was making fuel for us to venture off on our Day o' Shopping, I stayed in the car with the kids (five if you're counting). Which brings me to my first example (see title above):

You might be a redneck if your children are sitting in an unwashed van in the Home Depot parking lot chanting "WE NEED MORE COWBELL!" Oh, yes. We do love us some SNL (anyone? the sketch with Christopher Walkin and Will Ferrel and Will's shirt just keeps inching up every time he pounds the cowbell? anyone? so. funny.).

Second example:

Did I mention I am by myself this week? Maybe once before? Okay. So, yeah, I'm by myself and basically in "Survival Mode." This means I don't really care if Treefrog leaps off the top bar of our swing set so long as I don't have to spend the night in the hospital. Have fun, buddy! It DOES mean, however, that I cannot stand to have the kitchen be messy. It is definitely the center of our home (almost literally, but definitely figuratively). So there are three cabinets that we haven't had time/energy/whatever, so we're l.a.z.y. to childlock yet. . .

You might be a redneck if you:

What is that? I'm not sure I'm seeing this right . . .

Oh, yea, that's definitely . . .

Really, the oven too?!

That's right, y'all. I duct taped my cabinets and my oven shut so that Fish would stop pulling every item I own out of those three places. And let me tell you, I may just survive this week with the kids still alive.

I'm a redneck and I'm proud.

1 comment:

shinelight said...

You forgot to mention that you're from West Virginia! haha :) I love the tape job in the kitchen, very....modern decor. I wonder what the kiddos will find now...we may need more tape. :)