In Which I Share Too Much About My Feet

I have issues with my feet. I am currently seeking out a support group for my feet. Let me know if you hear of a good one.

I remember as a kid HATING my feet. I was embarassed to wear flip-flops. I don't think I owned a pair of shoes that showed my feet until I was in college. I had to make a conscious decision to Stop. Hating. My. Feet. FortheloveofGod. The reason eludes me now. Maybe my toes were too stubby. Maybe the sides of my feet hung over every pair of sandals I ever tried on. . . who knows.

In college, I remember realizing that my feet weren't all that bad. Sure, they were wider than the average foot, but all in all, not too shabby. I started buying flip flops and I even got a pair of Birkenstocks (shut up - they were cool). I even painted my toenails.

Then I had a kid (and another, and another) and we moved to Oregon (is this a reason why? I'm not sure) and I began to have new foot-issues. You see, I have extremely dry skin. I use lotion like no one's business and still, my dryness persists. However, until a few years ago, I don't ever remember my feet suffering from this. Summers have turned into torture for my feet. They get so dry, they peel, they crack open, they are pretty much a pain in my arse.

For a while now, I have been treating this with lotion and socks at night and not wearing my sandals as much. This system has worked okay. It keeps the awful cracking at bay for the most part. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I noticed a spot on the ball of my foot that hurt with every step. I just ignored it, thinking it would eventually heal (it was probably just a cracked spot anyway, I thought). It hadn't gone away and last night, I decided it was time to inspect the buggar. Turns out there is a planar wart hanging out down there. Awesome. I now am hobbling around with an apple-cider-vinegar-soaked cotton ball bandaided to the ball of my foot in hopes that the acid will take care of it. The Internets tell me that this method will take around three weeks, but is less painful than having it cut or frozen and is a more permanent solution. Because, apparently, these things are prone to inviting friends. Awesome.

Don't worry. I'll keep you posted on how this treatment works and whether or not I can regain a love for my feet.