Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Ouch, My Uterus

Look away boys. What follows is a post solely focused on my uterus. You have been warned.

Back in May (yes, I know. I have been keeping secrets from the Internets) I started having periodic bleeding. It was crazy - no rhyme or reason. Sometimes it would be heavy. Other times just spotting. At times I would have this for a couple of days, or five days, then a day or three off. The bleeding always came back, though. I figured this was just my body's freakish way of adjusting to Pillbug beginning to wean. But, at the one month mark of this happening I decided enough was enough. I called my midwife.

I went in and had the normal exam along with a lot of discussion on what was happening throughout the month. She listened and offered two follow-up things for me to do: have an ultrasound to rule out "things" and start a round of hormones (not birth control but similar hormones to get my body on track). I was nervous about the hormones. Fake hormones, in the past, have sent me in a downward spiral with regards to my depression and I just didn't want to go there again. I knew I needed to do something, though, and so I agreed to try it for three months. I went in about two weeks later for the ultrasound and had already started the first round of hormones. Two days after the ultrasound I got The Call. As soon as I heard my midwife's voice I thought I was doomed. Cancer, I thought. I have cancer.

Turns out it is a polyp or possibly a fibroid tumor. The surgeon I met with gave me the option of leaving it in (I said no thanks) and he feels confident that there is nothing to worry about (he didn't even mention the 'c' word). So, in November I'll have a little procedure to remove this alien that has taken up presence in my uterus. It should just be a simple out patient procedure with me up and going as soon as I'm out of the stirrups.

The other day, though, I had to get a shot to "prep my uterus." (I don't know, either, just go with it like I did . . . nodding and making it look like I understood the words leaving my surgeon's mouth.) I have a little, ahem, thing with shots. Like, I can sometimes faint. Only sometimes. Really not that often. But it does happen. Sometimes. But, Ben was busy the day I needed to go in and I wasn't really thinking it was going to be a big deal and so I dropped my boys with a friend and Pillbug and I drove out to the doctor's office. Upon arrival, I found out it was a shot to be given in the buttocks, in a small curtained off area, with only a chair to sit in (so, apparently I will be standing?!). Everything happened so quickly that I didn't really have time to react, though, which was probably just what I needed. Pillbug was trying to touch the freshly alcohol-swiped area and I was trying to keep my bum from being exposed to whomever was walking down the hall. Before I knew it, I had been poked and it was over. We packed up and went out to the car.

I don't know if it was a bit of adrenaline or if the shot just didn't have an effect until a bit later, but once I sat down in the car, it felt like my leg was going to fall off. All through lunch I just wanted to lie down (not really a possibility with the children here!), but instead I mustered through. By that evening I felt a bit better and all the pain was gone the next day. It was weird, is all I'm saying.

Now, apparently, my uterus is prepped and I'm ready to be scraped and whatever else to which I nodded my head. Good thing is the "prepping" means no actual period between now and the surgery . . . now if only the spotting would stop!

And so ends my post of which the male audience may not wish to read.

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