Wow - 32 weeks and counting. My back is much better. One Wednesday I woke up and baby had moved, so no more back pain! About a week or so later I went into early labor and and had quite a few hard contractions. We had two appointments in a week and I ended up sleeping every chance I got for the remainder of the week. Contractions lasted through this weekend (though not as hard as the ones on Tuesday). I have found myself staying at home a lot and in front of the television.
This is a pretty big switch from our normal life. Ben and I normally play games in the evenings or read together on the couch. The TV was only used as the free babysitter it should be used as:) I'm trying to give myself the freedom to embrace this time - the exhaustion, the uncomfortable body, the lack of a brain, etc. But it is hard. I am not the Mama I want to be during pregnancy. I notice it so much more this time around since Treefrog is older and will tell me when he doesn't like what's happening. He is definitely seeking attention in crazy ways (pretending to be a baby, disobeying, intentionally hurting Fish). I know many of these actions are normal 3/4 year old behavior, but it is also a reflection of how little energy I have for playing in the afternoon, or mornings for that matter!
Each day I'm starting with a simple prayer, "Help me, Jesus." I know that this is just a short season of our life and I know that God is so much bigger than my poor parenting during these nine months. Just yesterday Treefrog and I talked about how he is so lucky to have a papa here and one in Heaven who is with him all the time. He even decided to play a game with Jesus for while:) I know he is being taken care of, that he recognizes that God is with him, I just wish we could fast forward through this pregnancy to having the baby and trying to get back to "normal," whatever that will look like with three kids!