Ben and I have come to a bit of an agreement, without it ever actually being spoken. It is nice, yet, at times, I am nervous that it will blow up in my face. Basically the agreement is that Ben has the kids after dinner.
For a solid hour or longer.
By himself.
As in, I rarely do anything but call out, "Isn't it bedtime yet?!"
He is truly amazing, this man of mine. He comes home between meetings everyday to help out. He schedules many meetings around family times (such as lunch and dinner). He is usually home and happy to put Fish down for his afternoon snooze. He makes so many sacrifices throughout the day to be with us. I know that he likes this flexibility in his job (believe me, we have some pretty late nights built in to each week, so the job isn't as wonderful as it may seem at first glance. However, it definitely fits us for now). I know that he would do anything for his family, for me. . . I just sometimes wonder when it will be too much.
When will he say, "Uh-uh. I'm done. I've been picking up your slack for years. No more. Either pull it together or say goodbye to Mister Nice-guy." Will he ever look back at this time and wish for more? More "off" time, more down time, more clean towels, more time to fish? I hope he knows how much the time in the evenings means to me, but even more than that, how much he means to me. How much I appreciate his work sacrifices in order to be a more central part of our family. How much I appreciate his every dish washed, his every load of laundry done, his every floor swept, his every kid bathed. Oh, how I hope, one day, to show him that he is worth his weight in the purest gold possible.
For now, I guess morning sex will have to do.
I love you, Babe.
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